Author: nowwhat974
-
Impressions
I spent some time one summer with my aunt when I was around thirteen. I don’t remember exactly how long I was there; I just know I was there long enough that it felt like home, and I never wanted to leave. I didn’t eat very often as a kid, and I don’t think anyone…
-
Iteration 1.4
Some days I feel the weight of living several lifetimes inside of one, and today is one of those days. If we consider childhood its own lifetime, and I do. An argument could be made for several, really; but one will suffice, and that was Iteration 1. Then there was you, Iteration 1.1, and there…
-
The Final Analysis
Giving yourself to someone, heart and soul, is not a thing to do lightly. In the process, part of you becomes that person. The fallout feels like an amputation: something is missing, but you’re not sure what. It may sound like I’m saying it’s not worth it, but nothing could be further from the truth.…
-
Fire Good Girl Pretty
It is 3:37 am, and all is calm in my world. I am overcome by a feeling of peace in this moment—a moment I have needed for some time now. It is silent; everyone in the car is asleep except me, and that is okay. I take some pride in being able to provide a…
-
What if Fear Wasn’t a Factor
I’m far from perfect; however, I’ve never claimed otherwise. I get lonely, I feel rejected, and I struggle with my self-image. I have waves of self-doubt and self-pity. These things are less than attractive, but such is the human condition, and we all have our moments. What’s different today is that I get up and…
-
The Illusion of Control
I can hear the water moving below. It must be moving fast for me to hear the rapids from this distance. The sound of the wind blowing through the ponderosa pines dominates the area. The gray sandstone outcropping I’m sitting on has been windblown smooth, clean of the small loose rocks common in the area,…