The Existential Diatribe

Author: nowwhat974

  • Scars

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    Scars create ridges, ridges that look like mountains depending on your perspective. Once you’re standing on top of the ridge however, your perspective of the landscape will never be the same.

  • The Paradigm

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    I sit at parks, watching my kids play and texting people who never text back. I’m dying on the inside—dying for human contact, for adult contact. The illusion is real: a phone full of contacts and social media just a swipe away. It creates a false sense of comfort, a feeling of connection that just…

  • The Beginning of the End

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    Hope must die, but it must die of natural causes. You can’t speed this process along. When the silence becomes more silent than deafening, And the void starts to fill in on itself, That’s when I know it’s over. It’s over, and she’s not coming back.

  • Deconstruction

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    I wear my losses like an ex-lovers t-shirt. I want to breath in deeply and feel the memorey next to me. The scars, the anger, the grief, they feel like the only tangable part of that person I have left to hold. What if I let those go? Then they’ll really be gone. If I…

  • Change

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    It’s quiet, my house is empty, and I’m examining the remains—surveying the damage from a storm I never saw coming. This storm started 23 years ago. I am a man who has violated his core values, who has crossed his own line in the sand, and I’ve done it more than once. I have recklessly…

  • Time

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    There is a principle that states: “Do not let the sun go down upon your anger.” Alcoholics Anonymous has a similar principle which states: “We continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” Both of these principles are the same; they hold the same underlying spiritual truth. Time is only…

  • Muse

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    It’s springtime—or maybe it’s summer; only a calendar could clear the confusion. I’m sitting on my front porch, drinking my first cup of coffee of the day. These are moments I cherish as the sun starts to peek over the horizon at my back. It’s warm outside, but the breeze is cool as it sweeps…

  • Seven Months

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    8/16/18 Sometimes I just need to write, and I do not know why. I have an insatiable desire to create but an ever-waning desire to maintain. That reeks of discontentment, yet mainly, I feel whole. That internal conflict is most likely systemic of a deeper issue I have yet to stumble upon. The bedrock of…

  • The Storm

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    I’ve been thinking about balance, thinking about storms. Not much can grow in darkness, but maybe the darkness is sometimes a necessary catalyst for change. When I’m playing around with a word or an idea, I usually look to nature. What does the world around me have to offer on the subject? If seeds or…

  • The Detour

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    01/06/06 It’s silent right now, and I realize that’s what I needed. No TV, no radio, no phone, just silence, and I can breathe. It’s been two years today, and for a moment, I could hear nothing but the clock ticking on the wall. Two years ago today, at this time, I had found out…