My name is Ryan and I write, publish, and help other people do the same.
This site started as a place to get things out of my head. It still is, in a lot of ways — but it’s grown into something bigger: essays and my memoir, published books, and a hand extended to other writers trying to get their own work into the world.
What I do
I’m the author of Fragmented, a memoir about mental health, trauma, and finding my way back, and The Existential Diatribe, a collection of essays pulled from years of writing here and organized so it’s actually readable.
I write regularly on Substack (@digitaldiatribe), including an ongoing series called A Cult of Personality.
Beyond my own books, I run Digital Diatribe Media LLC, where I help other writers and creators launch their own brands — self-publishing guidance, blog and platform build-out, and the unglamorous groundwork of getting a digital footprint off the ground.
My mission
To talk about what recovery looks like in real life, not hidden inside a room. — And to help other people find an outlet for what they need to say with their own work.
Breaking the Silence
I like big stories, creation myths, epics, and I think that’s what I wanted to give you but that’s not my story to tell. Not here, not now at least. The story I have to tell you is mine, in my voice. It’s the story I need to tell you because no one else can, and I think it needs to be told. It’s not an epic; it may be the antithesis of creation, in fact, but it’s true.
It turns out that what I have to say is heavy, the kind of thing we shy away from but maybe we need to talk about more. I find myself struggling in an overly sanitized culture where we do not even say “killed” or “death.” We say things like “un-alived,” or “un-housed” instead of homeless. We sweep the reality of life under the rug to show you only what we want you to see: “smiley happy people,” plastics. And hey, I like to smile too. I’d rather laugh than cry, and I love to hear about your victories. I love when you’re doing well in life, whoever you are. But I want to hear something real.
I wasn’t doing okay for a very long time. I wasn’t ready to talk about it; I didn’t even know how. About ten years ago, I was falling apart behind the scenes. Soon, I would start falling apart publicly, but that whole story is a lot bigger. I started a blog as a place to vent. It was my dark homage to “My Secret Public Journal” by comedian Mike Birbiglia, but less funny. I was angry. But comedians are my muse; they tend to tell the truth.
I write a lot. I always have. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, actually, but I’ve struggled to find the story to tell. It comes out in fragments—bursts of momentary inspiration and blinding clarity, but never the whole picture. I deleted a lot of those early posts, but I’ve kept some, too. Mainly, it was a missive of my inner monologue.
A few people have seen it over the years and the general response is the same: “You should make this public; people should see this.” I’ve been hesitant because I’m plastic, too. “I only want you to see my favorite part of me, not my ugly side,” to quote my favorite band. What if you stop talking to me? What if you hate me?
But something has shifted in me, and I cannot stay in the shadows anymore. I’m happy these days. I spend very little time in the past anymore, but I can see it clearly now. I’ve started trying to bring some organization to the chaos and straighten out my blog as best I can to make it readable. I’ve started writing, writing with a mission. I’m several drafts deep into a book where I tell my whole story: the story I’m supposed to tell, not the one I want you to hear.
If you’d like to follow me on this trip and you’re interested in what I have to say, sign up and you’ll get notifications as posts come out. When I’m done with the book, you’ll be on the list for an early copy
Where to go from here
-Ryan
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